I Have A Confession…

I was doing some cleaning today- both internally and externally. I was picking up a mess when I started in one spot then looked around to another mess. I turned around the other direction and there were more things that needed picking up. The long and short of it was that I was surrounded by things that needed to be picked up and put away.
As I was picking up the toys, I realized this is a lot like my life. There are “messes” in my heart that need to be picked up and put away, or should I say put under? Under the blood of Jesus. Right when I feel like I have made progress in one mess of heart, the Lord reveals another mess I need to clean up. 

I had started to feel a little distant from God. He just didn’t feel as close as He had been. I began reading my Bible and within a few minutes, I was convicted on a few things: 

1. Being too hasty in my words.           2. Judging people in my own heart within the last few days.                               3. Being diligent 
I confessed it to the Lord and was then frustrated with myself. I don’t ever want to bring grief to God- He’s done so much, but there I was again falling short- in desperate need of Him and His correction and help! BUT, in God-like fashion, after the correction, He brought me to tears using another chapter of Scripture which followed the first passage I had read.

Psalm 103:7-14:                              The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;                                                 He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.                  As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed,
 He remembers that we are dust.

As I was cleaning up the physical mess I found today, I realized that God sees all our mess at one time. He sees the mess behind, beside us, under us and all before we even turn around. God could sit in heaven and say you need to fix this, this, this, this, and this and this. He doesn’t do that though. He allows us to work on one thing or another till its cleaned up and then shows us something else we need to work on.

I realized this is also an area I need to work on because, quite frankly, I sometime see something in someone else’s life that they may not see, OR maybe they know it’s there but haven’t finished tidying their first mess in order to work on the mess that I see.

Matthew 7:1-5:

“‘Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.           “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.'”
I am wrong! God has been teaching me and showing me so much grace. He is firm but gentle in His correction. He gets right to the issue and once it’s confessed, He doesn’t bring it back up. Then He extends such compassion. Imagine He was hurt by my sin and yet in His response to my sin, He turns towards me with compassion. He corrects me, helps me to brush it off, gives me a hug and sends me on my way- yet still being with me. 

I want to be like this. I’m so far from it, but with His help, I pray I can learn and choose to extend grace, kindness, and compassion- even when I am hurt. And to recognize that everyone is on a different journey. Their journey will not look like my journey. Their lifestyle may not look like my lifestyle. That is okay! God made each person different. I want to be a person of grace. A person of kindness and a person who loves deeply because I recognize I am loved unconditionally and undeservingly! 
Lord Jesus,

Please help me today be a person of grace. Forgive me for how I judge. Lord, I am completely wrong. Please help me to always extend grace because that is what you have extended to me. Help me to see others and myself as you see us! Help me to continually work with you on cleaning up the messes in my heart. I want to be a clean and empty vessel for you to use. Thank you God for your love, grace, kindness and forgiveness. Thank you Lord Jesus for coming to earth to save me. I deserve nothing but hell. Thank You for choosing me and choosing to have a relationship with me. God I am truly grateful. Thank you! 

In Jesus name. Amen. 

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