Finding Easter Hope When You’re Flatlined by Life
This week’s organization of the week is Agape International Missions.
In 2015, I had the privilege of speaking with the president of Agape International Missions, Don Brewster. I was working in TV Broadcasting at the time. I had no idea of the history of Cambodia; or, what it was like to be a girl in that country. After hearing Don share as a guest on the TV show I was working on, my heart broke. From then on, this organization has never left my heart. I hope to visit one of their facilities at some point.
Don and Bridget Brewster went to Cambodia on a pastoral missions trip in 2005. After returning to the states, Bridget said she never wanted to go back there. They had no idea of what was going on under the surface.
Shortly after returning to the states, Don and Bridget happened to be watching the TV when Dateline aired a program called, “Children for Sale.” In this segment, Dateline reporters discovered the horrifying atrocities happening to children.
In 1975-1979, 1.6-1.8 million Cambodian’s died under the Khmer Rouge regime which was being lead by Pol Pot. The Khmer Rouge regime killed scholars, government officials and the “intellectuals” of their country. Today this is know is known as “The Cambodian Genocide.” Because of this, the Cambodian people were left without direction, no leadership, and in dire straits. So, in order to survive, they began selling their children.
After Don and Bridget learned about the issue of sex trafficking in Cambodia, they sold their home. Don gave up his position as Executive Pastor of Adventure Christian Church in Roseville, CA, and they moved to Cambodia to lead Agape International Missions (AIM).
Since 2005, Agape International Missions has been focused on stopping the cycle of sex trafficking and exploitation in Cambodia by preventing human trafficking and rescuing, restoring, and reintegrating survivors.
Their first project was focused on restoring girls who were rescued out of sex trafficking. Today, they have 12 programs that stop human trafficking through a holistic strategy.
AIM’s US staff are based in California and support our 300+ local Cambodian staff.
To learn more about AIM please watch this short video.
The thing I most admire about Don Brewster is the fact that because he is a father with daughters, his heart couldn’t not take seeing other daughters being trafficked. This man speaks as act as a human representation of our Heavenly Father — Who rushes in when the darkness seems to be too much. Who prosecuted the abusers and is a voice for those who have been silenced. I know when Don and Bridget get to Heaven, God will say, “Well done my good and faithful servants.”
Because of Don’s schedule I was not able to get him to share on his fears, but please keep this man and his wife and this ministry in your prayers. They are doing incredible work!
I was thinking for new ideas for my blog. And I realized I know some incredible leaders of amazing organizations. So, I decided over the month of April to highlight some of my favorite organizations. Some organizations you’ll will hear directly from their founder/leader and others more indirectly.
This week’s organization is:
We Carry Kevan
The first thing you should know about Kevan was that he was born in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Shout out to my fellow FTL-er!
Before Kevan was a toddler he was diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy— leaving him wheelchair bound.
In 2015, Kevan decided to test the limits. Instead of writing about it I’ve linked a video to show you — Watch this!
So now that you know a little more about Kevan, I’d like for you to hear directly from Kevan. He is a man of integrity. He is genuine, incredibly gracious, and kind. I know you will be blessed by him sharing his acquaintance with fear:
“Christi, I have struggled with writing this—even starting it—for the past few weeks. Divulging fears is no small matter, you know. I had a revelation this morning, though. I was laying in bed, thinking of what fear to share. It needs to be something I’ve worked through, or at least *am* working through. It needs to be (I thought to myself) vulnerable, but not too vulnerable. And most of all, it needs to be a good story, with depth, a fall and rise, so on. Then, suddenly, the Lord said, “What are you afraid of?” A question I’d asked myself a dozen times in light of this task, but it sounds different coming from God. It pierces more. When he asked, it wasn’t, “What in your repertoire of experiences can you present as an example of fear?” It was, instead, a pointed question, “What are you so afraid of? What’s keeping you from writing this?”
My friend, I’m afraid, and I’m afraid of others knowing just that. I’m vulnerable up to a certain chalk line and then that’s it. People can see enough of my weaknesses as is—they’re plain as day. Why do they need to know my sinful, broken heart as well? I’d rather tell stories of my friends and me having crazy adventures, staring the impossible in the face, bla-bla-bla. It’s a lot easier than sharing about sitting in my dining room with no idea who’ll put me to bed that night; or the screaming matches I’ve had with Abba Father on long walks alone about everything from romance to disabilities; or the countless calls I’ve gotten over the years about friends passing away, and the whole gamut of reactions I’ve had to the news. Talk of my crew’s plans to hike this or that in two years is a lot more fun than the constant whisper in the back of my head that says I’ll be all alone in five.
I feel trimmers of fear in my gut every day. Fear of being abandoned, forgotten, let down. At least twelve times a day, I’m lifted out of my wheelchair and carried somewhere by friends, and every single time, no matter who it is, I have a fear of being dropped. So, there is the literal *and* metaphorical “drop” I struggle with. And what do I do with that? How do I deal with that fear every time I’m picked up? I let them pick me up and up and up again. And they don’t drop me. Even if they did, I’d have them pick me up again.
I settle into the fear, like sitting in a dark room and realizing everything’s still okay. Fear is just fear. It’s not a bear attacking you. It’s not a house burning down on your head. It’s not the end of the world. It’s just fear, with no substance or sway. So, I have my friends pick me up, again and again, because it’s needed for living. And I confess to my friends, I allow them to see my heart, because that’s also needed to live fully and freely. And they remain. When we decided to travel with me in a backpack (which was in itself the handling of fear), I had to open myself up to the public in interviews, films, and a published memoir—nothing to hide behind. And I write this blog, to be a little more vulnerable than before I wrote it. It terrifies me, but I’m doing it and thus giving fear less footing than an hour ago, when I started. Fear might still be there, but it’s not in control. It’s just a bug in the corner, and eventually, by the grace of God, it shrivels up and dies.”
Kevan’s book “We Carry Kevan” is available for pre-order until April 23rd. Please support a fellow author and pre-order his book, I know you will be encouraged by it.
To check out more about Kevan you can go to: http://www.wecarrykevan.com
I am excited to introduce you all to my friend Sara! I met her sometime during the year we were at Bible College. It was a small school so eventually you met everyone. I was never very close with Sara, but as the year went on I saw how much she changed and grew. She became determined to live a life worthy of the gospel — no matter what the cost. I have always had a deep admiration for her.
She is the type of person who once she sets her mind to do something, she will do it with her whole heart. It truly is a gift to know her. Sara currently lives in Montevideo, Uruguay with her husband and three beautiful children. I know you will enjoy what she has to share today!
My first year out of high school, a year after becoming a Christian, I was sitting in a mission’s conference. I learned about missionaries all over the world. When I heard that there were people groups who still didn’t have God’s word in their language, I knew God was telling me to go. It wasn’t a hard decision. Just like it wasn’t a hard decision to leave the states 5 years later with my new-ish family and head to Montevideo, Uruguay to help form a new church in the capital city. The packing and support raising and leaving were difficult, but the call was clear. And we were excited and nervous, not fearful.
The first few months in Uruguay were fun and adventurous. We were like honeymooners in our new life, learning so much and experiencing so many new things. But as we settled in and started the hard work of language learning, and actually living (not vacationing) in a culture not our own. I was surprised by the fears that arose within me. We weren’t being persecuted or even living in a dangerous country. But, before I knew it, my zeal and love for communicating the gospel, turned into fears about my ability and adequacy. My linguistic, and cultural weaknesses became a stumbling block for my faith.
Should I speak about Him if I can’t communicate His message clearly in my host language? What if I share the gospel and they don’t understand me (literally)? Does my life really reflect His love under all the stress our family is experiencing in a new country and culture? What if I mess up and offend them? What if I share a truth poorly and they misunderstand who God is and what He has done?
While many of these wonderings were legitimate concerns for wanting to respect and love the people around us. They also revealed an even greater fear that had been lying dormant in my heart for a long time. Could God really use me and all my weakness on the mission field?
The truth is, these fears have never left me. We are four years in and these same doubts are sometimes my daily battlegrounds. The fear of not being enough is not just a fear for the mission field. I know the same fear in my life as a homeschooling mother, as a friend, as a wife. It is a fear that touches the core of who I am and what I was created to do. It is the question of identity and it pervades every area of Christian life.
Thankfully God answers this question thoroughly in His word and through the very message of the Gospel. In a society where we are constantly being told that we are enough. Or, that we need to just believe we are enough, the truth of it all is that we aren’t enough. We see our own insufficiency and it bothers us. I do not speak Spanish well enough. I am not patient enough with my kids. Our family does not have it together enough. I don’t know enough theology to answer every doubt or opposition to the gospel. And, I do not have enough wisdom to be a perfect mother or missionary. I am not enough. And trying to convince myself that I am is looking only toward the flesh and not toward the Savior. The answer will and should always be no. But I don’t stop there. The gospel continues with transforming hope.
When we enter into a relationship with Christ, we receive a new identity, old things are washed away and we are made new. Our not enough on our own becomes perfectly enough in Christ. At the Cross, Jesus took our shortcomings, sins, and fears and conquered them. But He was raised and us with Him. His resurrection clothed us in His righteousness and made us new vessels to be used by Him. In Him our weakness becomes strength and all our shortcomings become purposeful. And we have the surety of His Spirit who offers wisdom and sweet companionship along the journey. And so as Christians we learn to look to Him. Is HE enough to conquer death and sin? Is He enough to take a sinner and make her new? Is He enough to work through weakness and pain and difficulty and suffering? Is He enough to use my poor language skills to shine the light in the darkness? Is He enough to use my mite to bring life to a dead heart? The answer is always, and unconditionally, a resounding yes because all things are yes in Christ.
When fears arise within us we are never asked to suck it up and pretend we have it all together. Nor fake a smile to make it look like all is well. Instead, our fears tell us that we are lacking intimacy with our Father. To embrace and abide in the message of the gospel is to have true intimacy with our Father, and in true intimacy we find safety. John 15:1-11 is a powerful reminder to us in fear. It confronts our: ‘I can do nothing,’ with the glorious hope of the gospel:
“You are already clean because of the Word which I have spoken to you. Abide in Me and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, and you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit; for apart from me he can do nothing. Just as the Father has loved me, I have loved you. Abide in my love…these things I have spoken to You, that My joy may be complete.”
He abides in us! We are made clean! We are loved! And we will bear fruit! We have so much in Him. But how do we abide? We believe the gospel and walk in it. We reject lies, and we embrace the truth. We walk with Him, talk with Him, and enjoy Him. We spend time in prayer and fasting. We study His word and meditate on and memorize it. And when we do we will find that we bear much fruit, even in our weakness and inadequacy. Our hearts will fill with joy, He will be glorified in us and will use us to minister to others.
As we abide we can say with David:
“I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed…Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack!” Psalm 34
So, taste and see! Abide, friend. Take refuge in Him. Seek Him. Fear Him. And watch Him take away your fears and turn your lack into overflowing fruit for His name and kingdom.
I am so grateful to have my friend, Mary O’Brien, share with you today. Mary will forever be one of my saving graces because when I first met her, she came to my rescue!
I was at the National Religious Broadcaster Conference trying to carry 6 foot banners and a box of things for my boss’s book table. Suddenly a woman comes right by me, pulls on my dress and nicely said, “I’m sorry your dress was riding up, and your hands were full.”
How can you not become friends after that! I met up with Mary again at a conference her church where my boss was speaking. Mary is someone after being around her, it makes you want to live better. It truly is an honor to have her as a guest blogger today. I know you will enjoy what she has to share!
I grew up in a loving yet dysfunctional home. As I have aged – I realize that my younger years were wrought with fear of outcomes I could not control. If I could control a situation, then it hurt less or caused less stress. But that simply was not often possible in my home.
Faith was ever present, but it was not until college that I came to have a personal relationship with Christ. I came to know that God wasn’t a far off God, but a God who loved ME and was intimately involved in my life. He used a very traumatic incident in my 20’s to break me free of my false sense of control and fear of “what ifs”.
I was a single 27 woman when out of the blue I was diagnosed with bacterial endocarditis (an infection in the lining of the heart) and hospitalized. A few days later I was told I would need open heart surgery to repair the damage. I was in shock. I had gone from a normal, healthy young woman to being told I would have congestive heart failure within the next year if I didn’t have this surgery. Within a few days came another blow:
“Did we mention that depending on the outcome of the surgery you may not be able to have children?”
Um no, no one had mentioned this.
My mind was racing. Who would want to marry me if on the first date I had to tell them: Oh! By the way, I cannot have children and I have a foot-long scar down my chest.
I went into control mode. How can I be sure to manage the options so that is not the outcome (there were a few extreme options available to me that might have prevented this possible outcome).
As a believer who had just begun studying the Word seriously for a few years, I knew enough to know I needed to run to God and His promises. But this was so hard (I was still learning about God’s sovereignty and His goodness).
I thought maybe I could handle this better. There were several Scripture passages that really ministered to me at this time…
The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?
Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
As I explored my options, the Lord confirmed to me that what I needed to do was let go and trust Him. Trust that whatever the outcome of the surgery was – He was good and faithful, and nothing was outside of His plans for me.
I recall kneeling by my bed a few nights before surgery and through tears just telling Him that I was giving this to Him. I was trusting Him. I knew that He loved me deeply and no matter what happened, He would see me through it and had a plan.
I woke up to good news- the valve had been repaired perfectly and there was no need for the strong medications that may have altered my health and ability to have children. I was so comforted in many ways by this. And, in my limited vision, I saw this as His promise for what life would hold for me.
However, years later, at around 39, I was in a place of striving against where the Lord had me as a single woman with no children. I just didn’t understand His plans or why my life didn’t look like I thought it was going to. In a place of fear – what if what I always thought my life would be doesn’t happen – I recall saying to the Lord that I felt a little bit tricked by Him. Why did you do that with my surgery only to NOT give me children. And in such a loving way I recall Him revealing to me that what He did was for my good, for my best. He took the best care of me with an outcome that allowed me to have a perfectly healthy life with no further concerns or issues. He never said it was about kids and marriage, but I had wanted it to be about that. He was simply taking the best care of me as a loving Father and blessing me with that outcome.
Around 42, he did a big work in me. He released me from the striving, and frankly the shame I had of being an older single woman whose life didn’t look most everyone else’s. I began to see His sovereignty and faithfulness in a new way.
Fear is natural, but the more we recognize the character of God the more we rest in knowing we have nothing to fear. He gave His Son for us. He knows every hair on our head. He knows the ugliest parts of us and loves us, graciously working to refine us and call us out of shallow waters into deep ones with Him. I love that I can look back on these times in my life when I start to get anxious about a situation and recount His goodness and that I have nothing to fear when He is in control.
Today, I get to introduce you to someone who is very special to me. We “met” in 2016 and became fast friends. I say “met” because I actually have never “met” Emily in person. Her blog will explain a little more about why.
In 2016, my sister tagged me in a devotional online. I read it and was so touched by it, I looked up the author– it was Emily. Soon after that, she asked me to join the devotional group she was the project coordinator for and now completely oversees.
Emily is a warrior. She is fiercely kind. Extremely thoughtful and an amazing friend. She is always full of encouragement and she is so transparent even in situations that would make the strongest human being want to crumble. I am deeply grateful God placed her in my life and I am beyond thrilled to have her share with us what “National Rare Disease Day” means for her.
Many of our fears are based on the small chance of something happening. I have a fear of electric eels. I don’t live in South America, and I don’t plan on sneaking behind the scenes of a zoo or aquarium. So, I’m not likely to encounter one anytime soon. I’m afraid, but it’s not a fear with much basis in reality.
What do you do when fears are based in reality because of things you can’t control?
What if you have a fear of the hospital or doctors, not because unfamiliar medical procedures, but because they have a history of not knowing how to treat you?
What if you’re afraid to lift something because you might dislocate you’re wrist or shoulder?
What if you’re afraid to wash your hair because you might be allergic to the shampoo? You used it yesterday, and had no reaction, but a reaction with no warning happened with the brand before that, the brand before that one, and the one before that.
Those are just some the fears I live with every day. I have two rare illnesses. For many rare disease patients, the fears are similar. Fear of the unknown can be paralyzing.
I have Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. Collagen and connective tissue such as tendons and ligaments are designed to hold our bodies together. In a healthy person, those are like superglue. Mine are like a preschooler’s glue stick, minus the glitter. For my subtype, hyper mobility, this means doing everyday tasks, like reaching for the remote control, leads to sprains as well as partial and full joint dislocations. It’s painful. It can also lead to complications with wounds not healing well and a greater risk for a life threatening aortic tear.
I also have a Mast Cell Disorder. Mast cells are white blood cells and are part of the immune system. They’re supposed to fight infections. In an otherwise healthy person, when they malfunction they cause allergic reactions to things like dust, pollen, bee stings, or peanuts. For the most part, if someone avoids a specific trigger, their health isn’t in serious danger.
My mast cells are constantly hyperactive and malfunctioning. They see everyday, benign things as an enemy, things like fragrances, food, temperature, sunlight, strong emotions (both good or bad), too little sleep, certain sounds, and so many others. The list is endless. Often, my mast cells react for no identifiable reason. When they do, they attack my body, mistaking it for something foreign and bad. A mast cell disorder is basically allergic to life. In just over a year, I’ve had 66 anaphylaxes. Those are life threatening allergic reaction emergencies that require an epinephrine auto-injector and a trip to the Emergency Room, where, depending on if they follow my unique protocol for a mast cell disorder or not, I could get worse instead of better.
So, eels aren’t the only thing I fear. I fear living in a world, living in a body, that’s threatens my life, every second of every day.
We all have some fears rooted in reality, fears of things more likely to happen than having to hold an electric eel. Many times, they’re because of situations we have little or no control over.
We often focus on eliminating what we’re afraid of. If we can’t eliminate it, we try to control it to some degree. If we can’t control a eliminate or situation that causes us terror, how do we handle it? How do we live without it controlling us by the fear it brings?
There’s no single answer, but for me there are two helpful things. First, is remembering God knew this would happen. We live in a broken world. God knew all the evil and terrible things that would happen to people, both those who follow after Him and those who don’t. When I don’t think I can handle what the next minute could bring, it’s comforting to know He is ready to handle it because He knows what will happen. John 16, Jesus tells His disciples hard things will happen to them. He told them so they wouldn’t be afraid.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 NIV
The second thing is not only did he tell His disciples they would face things that would be hard, He also wanted them to know He is more powerful than anything they would face.
Those promises still stand true for us today. I realize anaphylaxis because of a mast cell disorder may take my life. I also have to realize God is the one who is in charge of my life. He knows what I’ve faced in the past and what I will face in the future. He knows the same for you too.
Overcoming the world doesn’t mean being immune to what happens here. It means God is stronger, and He isn’t controlled by it.
I may be living with circumstances beyond my control and you may be as well. God isn’t swayed by what we fear or even our fear itself. We’re not less in His eyes because we’re afraid. He sees us. He knows us. He knows our pasts and how it affects our emotions about our futures. He promises His peace. His peace isn’t always the absence of fear. It’s a quiet assurance in the middle of fear that He is in control. We’re not in control, and that’s a good thing.
— Emily Furda
I was sitting outside reading a book about how life rarely turns out as we plan.
When I couldn’t help but tear up. I wanted to pray, but at this point in my life, it’s still a challenge. If I am being honest, praying biblically hurts too much.
I remember praying hard for a specific thing several years ago. It ended with me sobbing in my closet. I met someone that I thought would be the guy for me. He was everything you would want in a husband. But, I knew the Lord was telling me, no. Why? I wish I could tell you. To this day, I still don’t know why God said no.
I wish I could tell you I understand it, but I don’t. So, asking God for something along the same lines, is a challenge. Why? Because I know if it’s a no, it will be one more thing to grieve. Can I be honest? I’m really tired of grieving and I don’t get much better at it as life goes on. In fact, it gets harder — not easier.
Occasionally, I think about getting a tattoo. I used to never care for them. But, then, after I lost my Dad, I’ve contemplated getting one.
To me, it would symbolize the tattoo that will forever be in my heart this side of eternity. I already have a mark on my heart, I might as well have a mark on my body. Since I love words, I often think what words I would get as a tattoo. Last week, I had two pop into my mind. I put them together and I realized that is the essence of the Christian life— no matter what the circumstances.
The two words are:
Life doesn’t stop. It doesn’t slow down in the good times and it doesn’t pick up in the bad times. It just keeps moving at the same pace it always has, and it always will.
In life, we have to keep persevering. It may not be pretty. In fact, we may stumble through it, but we cannot quit. Coupled with perseverance, is the need for faith.
Picture perseverance as your legs and faith as your mind. When you run, you need your legs and your mind to run a race. The mind will keep you going even if your legs feel like quitting. The same in true for our spiritual lives. We will hit walls that will feel like we aren’t going anywhere and other times, we will feel like we are going a million miles an hour.
So, whatever you may be praying for and holding out for, keep persevering and keep hanging on to faith because no matter what you may or may not have, you will be able to finish your race with those two things.
Life doesn’t always have a happy ending but that doesn’t mean we cannot finish our race strong and encourage others to to finish their race as well.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
I was having a conversation with a former co-worker, when I finally asked his opinion.
“You shouldn’t do that.” He said.
“Why?” I asked (with a little bit of an attitude)
“Cause you’d be too comfortable. You’d get stuck.”
I stood there shell shocked. He totally nailed the truth into the deepest part of me. I knew he was right, but I didn’t dare admit it.
I decided not to do the comfortable thing. The route I decided to take demolished my comfort zone. It opened up my eyes to so many new things. Things and experiences I would have never been able to see and do had I stayed with the comfortable.
This conversation took place over 6 or 7 years ago. But, I remember my exact frame of mind. It’s a mindset that I’ve heard several others express. It’s the frame of mind that says, “I’m waiting to do this or that because I want to enjoy it with my future husband.”
Looking back, I realized I wasted a lot of time there. I know in church, we are taught to wait for our husband, but that doesn’t mean I wait on living the life God’s given me.
I used be hesitant to join anything because I’d want to experience it with my husband. But the reality is, I may never get married.
I used to be hesitant to get too attached or involved or try new things because “maybe my husband and I can do them together.” But, the honest truth is, he may have completely different interests than I do. I may love to travel and he could be a total homebody.
I finally realized, I was just missing out on other gifts God was offering. Sure it wasn’t marriage but the gift of family and friendships have become priceless to me. The ability to get alone and write— it gives me breath! The ability to fiddle with a camera, run a few miles, learn martial arts, travel for fun are all gifts. Gifts that before, I never even thought about. Gifts that I absolutely love.
So, if you’re single, stop waiting! Go try something new, get involved in church, plan a trip, or do something you’ve always wanted to do. Because, if you do meet your husband you’ll have a lot of great conversations. If you just wait around, and he starts to ask about you… All you will have to say is: well, I was waiting for you.
Your life doesn’t begin when you find a husband. Your life is here and it’s meant to be invested. If not with a husband than your family, nieces and nephews, friends, church family, friends, your neighbors.
You only have one life to live. Don’t buy the lie that you’re not someone because you don’t have someone. Or you’re not as loved because you don’t have a spouse. Your life can be just as meaningful without a husband. And if and when he comes along, you will realize you’ll have a better relationship because he’s not your end all. Keep in mind, “The best of men are men at best.” The same is to be said for the ladies.
There is a woman I know who never got married. But she gave her life to serve at a crisis pregnancy center. She served 20+ years. There are still women who come in to those centers saying, “that woman helped me choose life for my baby.” Or “That woman lead me to the Lord.” Can you imagine the impact she’s had on the kingdom of God because of her service. Can you imagine how many people she will meet in heaven because of her investment?!
And did you know it was a single woman who was so burdened for young married couples that she helped make “Family Life Today” a reality. Imagine all the families who made it through the rough patches because of a SINGLE woman.
My challenge to you singles is to ask God to open your eyes to see the other gifts that He’s placed in your life. When you stop focusing on what you do have, you’ll start seeing what you do have.
You have no idea what God could do with your singleness— until you let Him take the reins. And if God chooses you to have a partner in this life, cherish them. They are a gift.
Happy Valentines Day, Single. Go change the world!
I was called disrespectful.
I was called untrue.
I was called untrustworthy.
I was called a manipulator.
I was accused of being a seducer.
I was accused of being an adulterer.
I was said to have no friends and said I’d have many problems in the future.
I was accused of being a helpless victim.
I was verbally flogged.
Each word hurt more than the next
“You’re undermining me”, “You’re Judas to me.” The painful words flowed as each one ripped into my deeper into my heart and soul.
I am not perfect, but I meant no Ill will. I repeated to myself.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” was my echo trying to figure out why I couldn’t keep it together anymore.
Everything was unraveling… I’ve failed… I’ve corrupted all of this… Maybe I am cursed… Maybe I will always end up in these situations… Maybe this is why I’m not married… Maybe all these problems are because of me…
I questioned myself over and over and over again… I’ve failed… How could I not have prevented this? How could I not see myself as all these things? “You are wicked” I condemned myself… as I was being condemned…
Such hopeless days… I spent more days in tears than with a smile…
When life as I knew it was falling apart… I was being held… So close was His touch, his heartbeat, his whisper…
“This is not your battle… Let me handle it…”
Be still… Stay silent…
Don’t retaliate… Don’t talk back… So, I held my tongue…
Accusations still flew… Lies spoken over me… Physical reactions became undoubtably noticeable…
Be still.. Stay silent…
I cried night after night…
Be still, stay silent…
I packed up my life… Tears pouring out of my eyes… no clear direction to be seen…
Be still, Stay silent…
Friends started calling… Be still stay silent…
Until a call… A safe place for me to share my story… Stay still… BE honest…
I cried and nearly trembled as I shared … recounting the stories… Watching the dismay on the man’s face… I couldn’t read it… Maybe he thought I was making this up… My emotions had no where else to go… I felt torn apart… so vulnerable no longer knowing how to protect myself.
I finished and waited for his response…
“You did nothing wrong… I hope you walk out of here with your head held high…”
Words can pierce so deeply and heal profoundly… the same area damaged by the reckless words of an unstable person, began mending through a stable, faithful, kind man…
Words can tear apart a soul. Words can mend a soul. It can filet a heart beyond recognition , and yet somehow make it stronger than ever before. The deeper the wound, the greater capacity for compassion…
To the one who broke me— I don’t ever wish to see or hear again… But I am grateful for all the damage… because through it… I learned to be still to be silent and hear the One whose words spoke over me are more powerful than yours. And it is His words, not yours that brought me back to life.
He was still and was led silently a sheep to the slaughter… so that when He had defeated the grave… His words would hold the power of life and death… He speaks life… He hates death…
We celebrated Sanctity of Human Life Sunday on January 20th, and just 48 hours later, the World Trade Center lit up in pink to celebrate… a law that allows full term babies to be aborted.
This issue is personal for me because from 1984- 1993, the United States experienced the highest number of abortions. It was during those years, that me and my three sisters were born. It was also during those years that Hope Women’s Centers began. The place I now work. The place my Dad helped start 30+ years ago.
I cannot help but look at the number of abortions during those years and feel a deep sadness. Those babies were not just a “blob of tissue.” They were my generation.
They should have been my colleagues.
My partners in ministry.
On average, from 1984-1993, every year 1.3 million children were aborted.
Before I continue, I want to say, I know this is a very personal and tender issue for some. I am deeply sorry if you happen to be post abortive. I know that is a deep wound, and maybe you didn’t have all the facts you needed to make an informed decision. You are not alone. I am hurting with you, and If you need someone to talk with, please click this Hope Restored Program.
Francis Schaeffer once said, “Every abortion clinic should have a sign in front of it saying, “Open by the permission of the church.”
You may be wondering why I’m using this quote. It’s because 54% of women who get an abortion identify as “Christian.” One in every four women in the church have an abortion. The number is equally as high for men. Roland Warren, the CEO of CareNet, who Hope Women’s Centers is affiliated with said, “We have women at church on Sunday and in the abortion clinic on Monday.”
This issue is not at our doorstep. It is an issue that had taken residence in our pews.
The Dalai Lama said this:
We are killing off the future.
We live in a society where life is no longer precious. We pass laws to take the life of not only a child, but also those who are disabled by assisted suicide. And Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. In 2017, 1.3 million individuals attempted to take their own life. 50,000 individuals succeeded in that attempt.
John 10:10 says, “The thief comes only to STEAL, KILL and DESTROY”
Let me tell you, he is SERIOUS about all three. But, the last part of that verse says this?
“I [Jesus] have come that they may have LIFE, and have it to the FULL.”
That is our desire at Hope Women’s Centers (and should be of the church) We want women and men who find themselves in despair to know that LIFE IS PRECIOUS. Their life is precious and SO is the child inside.
Our God is the author of life. His name is Creator. He is the Way the Truth and the Life. That is who He is!
My challenge to every single one of us is that if you haven’t joined the fight for life that you would do that. Maybe it’s through volunteering or giving. Maybe it’s through praying for pregnancy centers and churches all across the world to fight for life. Maybe it’s to help someone who is struggling with mental illness. Or, maybe it’s to find healing from your own wounds, so that eventually you can help someone else with their wounds. There are a ton of ways to be involved.
My prayer for 2019, is that we would make God’s name remembered in Broward County by fighting for life. Joshua 24:15 says, “Choose this day whom you will serve.” We either serve the God who created life, or we choose the god of this age whose sole purpose is to, steal, kill and destroy. I pray we are a people who fight for the life of the unborn, the weak, and the outcast. I pray that we are a people who are known for their love. We have a hurting and broken community and world that needs the support of the church. Let it be said of us that we love, sacrifice and promote life wherever we are.
A year or so ago, I was struck by the fact that there was a woman I knew very well whose life was wrecked by abortion. I wrote this to help me see those who also might be dealing with their own heaviness for their abortion. I wrote this with all the love in my heart. I would be honored to help anyone carry their burden. It’s too heavy to carry alone ❤️.
She is your boss, your neighbor, your friend.
She wonders why and how she could put a life to an end.
She was not in a good spot financially when she decided.
Suddenly, she realized the lies she believed she’d been blind-sided.
She’s held this secret for far too long.
Silence is her cover and also her drinking song.
She cannot speak of the event that caused her excruciating pain…
The day that her baby was slain.
She walks around feeling not even half a human being.
She robbed a life from laughter, love, hearing and seeing.
The trauma of that day is seared into her soul.
Her heart once plenteous and abundant is now not even half full.
This wound is one similar to those in combat.
In theory, one solider returns unscathed and the other forever lost, but here is a fact:
That unscathed soldier is never the same. From death he may have been saved.
But it led him to consider his own encounter with the grave.
She is broken – a mother without a child.
She is depleted and the joy she experiences is so very mild.
She is hiding in plain sight.